just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
