my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
