I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
