i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
