I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
