You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
