YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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