i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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