Heybabeimwearingurpanties
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
