fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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