"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
