I've blown a few things in my day
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize