Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize
