i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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