I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
