hotel room ftw
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
