brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
