Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
