make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
