she was so not down for the gang bang
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
