onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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