Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
