i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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