You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
