There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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