Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
