Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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