Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
