Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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