So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
