This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
