I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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