based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
