I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
