It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
