perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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