You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
