Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
