She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
