evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
