honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
We named our party play list daddy issues
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
