You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
