just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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