I just made out with a guy for $7.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
