At least make sure they are 18
Why
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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