she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
