i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
