No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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