On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
