Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
