things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
