I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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