Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
only you would photoshop your dick
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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